There is no question that my struggles with church haven't gotten any better, but it's nice to catch glimpses of the Holy when my journey eases into Its near-orbit from time to time.
My pastor called and asked us to play some acoustic music on the front steps of the church before our Friday night alternative service. She didn't ask for "churchy" music--which is good, since we don't really know any--just our original stuff with a few obscure covers thrown in.
We were playing our version of this great Josh Ritter song for the downtown crowd gathering on the street and stoop when she came by and asked us to play it during the service. She had planned to use a recording of it before her sermon, but thought a live performance would do better. Weird. This is not a well-known song. And not a song you would expect to hear at church.
GIRL IN THE WAR
Peter said to Paul you know all those words we wrote
Are just the rules of the game and the rules are the first to go
But now talking to God is Laurel begging Hardy for a gun
I got a girl in the war man I wonder what it is we done
Paul said to Peter you got to rock yourself a little harder
Pretend the dove from above is a dragon and your feet are on fire
But I got a girl in the war Paul the only thing I know to do
Is turn up the music and pray that she makes it through
Because the keys to the Kingdom got locked inside the Kingdom
And the angels fly around in there but we can't see them
I got a girl in the war Paul I know that they can hear me yell
If they can't find a way to help her they can go to Hell
If they can't find a way to help her they can go to Hell
Paul said to Peter you got to rock yourself a little harder
Pretend the dove from above is a dragon and your feet are on fire
But I got a girl in the war Paul her eyes are like champagne
They sparkle bubble over and in the morning all you got is rain
They sparkle bubble over and in the morning all you got is rain
They sparkle bubble over and in the morning all you got is rain
So, there I was playing a song that is critical of the church, with a musical partner whose beliefs are uncertain at best, and I thought: Isn't this what church is supposed to do? Nudge us into a corner and beat on us a little bit with velvet gloves? Not to hurt us, but to dislodge us from the crust for a little while...until we eventually get back to our calcified ways of screwing it up.
It didn't solve my issues with organized religion, but it was a moment of grace.
26 comments:
The world beats us down enough without the church piling on.
I don't want the church nudging me into a corner and beating on me with velvet gloves or anything else.
But, at the same time, you know what happens when a bully pushes a kid into a corner and starts to pick on him and push him around. The only way out for the kid in the corner is to flatten the bully.
As for me, what I think the church is supposed to do, what I want the church to do for me, is to provide strength and beauty. Help me make it through the day.
Funny that you posted this. This morning I found myself wondering where you were with the whole church thing, and I thought "I should e-mail and ask." And here it is.
I love those moments of grace.
I hadn't ever read your "struggle with church" post, but I found it compelling and very close to home. I haven't been to church in over a year - not because I wouldn't like to be in a church that meets my needs, but because I've never been in a church that did and I don't know where to find one that would. I've made an active effort to look too.
I blogged about it once too so I won't repeat all of those thoughts, but it is really frustrating to me that I can't find a church that is full of people like me or you, who want something different than churches typically offer.
That's all fine for now - I can get by without church, but I wonder what I'll do when I have children someday. I want a church I can take them to, without them feeling digruntled by fundamentalism or left out b/c of a lack of diversity. And I certainly don't want to take my little girl to a church that tells her she should be submissive because she is female. Not sure what to do about all of this.
MEP,
i don't know where you're from, but if you're willing to try something extremely unconventional and increasingly diverse, i would welcome you to join an emerging group in center city Springfield called The Core. you can learn a little about it at www.thecoredowntown.com, but you can't learn very much without actually coming to one of the gatherings. chances are, it would be out of your comfort zone... it's a stretch for most, if not all of us, actually. that's part of the beauty, i suppose. i wouldn't say it's a values-free or unbiased group, but it's a group that values diverse personalities and perspectives, a sort of forum for the non-threatening exploration of Christian faith.
anyway, i'm not big into solicitation and even less into marketing, but i would be amiss to not share an opportunity to a fellow brother or sister looking for some place to belong.
MEP, wherever it is, i pray you find the place where you belong.
Reacher, if you want a church to go to, but don't like organized religion, just leave a voicemail for every pastor in town, then eliminate all those who actually call you back.
Round 2 could be a personal visit to each pastor's study. Tell them you have an appointment. If they know you're lying, cross them off.
Observe carefully all the pastors' desks you actually manage to glimpse. Pull a sheet of paper from the bottom of a pile. If it's dated from the 1980s or earlier, congratulations, you've found your new church!
i'm confused... maybe a little slow...
Just trying to give the Reacher a protocol for discovering disorganized religion...
Ahh. OR, he could just read Revolution. :) Have you read it, Reacher? Actually, i have mixed feelings about it, but it could be helpful from an identification standpoint.
I don't know. I read your writings and wonder why you are so dead set against what you call organized religion. Seems like, for someone who spouts grace all the time, you have some trouble extending it to those who don't share your knee jerk reaction to the church as it is currently constituted. It's not perfect, but it's not nearly as devilish as you seem to think. I'd bet a great percentage of the people currently involved in "organized religion" would be as loving to you as anyone you currently hang with. So is it just the professional organized religiors that bother you? The preachers, music dudes and their ilk? I mean really, here I think is my main question: why are you so judgemental? What happened to you?
Hmmmmm. I would have to say that reacher's misgivings regarding organized religion have been anything but "knee-jerk." That's one long, slow jerk from one thoughtful and well-articulated knee.
Thanks, Beloved. I'm actually in Indianapolis and you would think that in the 12th largest city in the US, I could find something. Still looking.
Cheez,
I really don't what to say to your argument of infinite regression. I mean, yeah, I judge; but aren't you judging me? And, then, what about me judging you for judging me for judging the church? Doesn't that lead to you judging me for judging you for judging me for...?
What happened to me? I fell in love with a savior who fell in love with me. And it pisses me off when organizations so transparently appropriate that God to perpetuate their own cultural agenda. Or, they simply dress themselves in God-talk and religiosity, while refusing to be honest about their own lives or the relationships around them. I'm not saying they all get it wrong, or that I am in some unique position to determine if they do; I just find myself on the outside because I refuse to become something I'm not to fit into the religious culture.
I'm not claiming to be right. Maybe all that's my bad. I'm just being honest. If you want to turn that into an opportunity to attack me, feel free. As a strategy, though, I must say it's probably not going to make me run to the nearest (or your) organized church for comfort, or cause me to ask: What would Cheezes do?
I don't really want to attack you, RePreacher. Not really. And I will admit to "knee jerk" being a poor choice of words. I just wondered what happened.
I fell in love w/the same Yeshua, by the way. And I see his church making mistakes and doing foolish things. I also see it doing much good and, on a consistent basis, I see my friends trying to live as Jesus would have them, admitting their struggles and blemishes and doing the best that they can do today. Tomorrow's struggles are for tomorrow. These good people are part of the "organized religion" cult that seems to aggravate you so, and they don't deserve that. I don't think you mean to lump them in w/the "religion" crowd but it feels like that is what's happening when you go off on it.
And so, having annointed myself as their defender, I spring into action, fingers flying over the keyboard in a flurry of poorly thought out arguments, didactic ramblings (oxymoron alert), incoherent syntax, prepositions on the ends of sentences of...
"What would Cheezes do?" Clever you are, Grasshopper.
Reacher; it's time for you to read McLaren's newest book if you haven't already. He says it well and in many ways complements your blog. As we have mentioned before, it is "mind-stretching" to a simpleton like me and I am re-reading it to see what I missed the first time. The "secret" he writes about isn't secret at all, its just so simple we won't accept it! Its love and grace right here, right now; the kingdom here right now.
Thanks for your insight.
I read it, Owen. I enjoyed it, but felt like much of it was well-trodden ground for those of us on the fringe. I probably need to reread it myself.
I emailed McLaren about a mistake in his book. In Ch. 13 he credits Jill Phillips with the song, "God Believes In You." I told him that the songwriter was actually Pierce Pettis. I received a thankful response from Grace, his wife. Then, a day or two later, Brian emailed me and we had a pleasant exchange about Pierce's music (of which McLaren is a fan) and Christian rhetoric. He promised to track down Pierce Pettis and apologize in person. I told him that his honesty was always the thing that made him stand out as a Christian writer. IT was cool.
You know, God just blindsided me with something today that i hope will benefit this conversation, and many to come. He reminded me of that all too well-known verse in Ephesians, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
As i have trodden the difficult and testing path of trying to build a church from scratch, i have encountered much conflict with brothers in Christ, which has at times led to unfortunately painful dialogue. I was confronted again today with the reality that our struggles are given to us either by Satan or by God. If it's Satan, then we fight Him on our knees and in the Word, and count it as joy. If it's God, then we submit to it as discipline, and count it as joy. But it's NEVER to be blamed on people themselves, God's good creation. For me, this changes the entire landscape of these types of conversations. I pray for all of you, that you will embrace this truth, for it will indeed set you free.
Question (read like Arnold Horshack)!
How does playing a song that attacks the church bring us a glimpse of the holy? I don't understand. Of course, while I'm at it, I don't understand why Happy Meals don't make me happy...
Hullooooh. Howarrrya.
Oooh, oooh, oooh, I know this one.
Using music as a critical commentary on the church isn't new. In fact, it was pretty widely practiced by the likes of Keith Green and Rich Mullins. At the risk of offending my Catholic friends, the church ain't God. Occasionally it can even get in the way of God and humanity. When it does, it needs a kick in the ecclesiastical pants ("the keys to the kingdom got locked inside the kingdom"). And, there are times that "the church" emerges as something altogether different than the church, if you know what I mean.
Happy Meals don't make you happy because you are a bad, bad man. If you wouldn't sin so much, McD's would bring you more joy.
Agreed. It seriously disturbs me when people accuse critics of the Church for not "loving" the Church. After all, she is God's bride! (I don't say that irreverently) If you ask me, it is a lot more loving to critique the Church and nudge her in the right direction than to pretend that all is well and continue to blaspheme God's name throughout the earth. The problem comes when we never have anything good to say, or when we cut ourselves off from our brothers and sisters in Christ. While it's not entirely clear what form church is to take, it is clear that it should be purposeful, missional, Christ-centered, and holistic.
So... attacking the church (through muzak or otherwise) is one way of pulling away the veil and peering into the "holy" that is what Jesus had in mind in the first place?? Now I'm feeling more like Vinnie...
Love Rich Mullins. Miss him and hims muzik.
I will seek counseling for my badness and, in time, hope to enjoy a Happy Meal. I think you're right- it is my sin that keeps me away from true joy. Can I get an "amen"?
At the risk of being redundant, how does being critical of the church give us a glimpse of the holy? I'm not saying it's not a good thing to do, on occasion, I just don't see the connection between criticism and holiness. So I'm axing: how do your line of reasoning work? My Vulcan mind do no be seeing the logic...
Hey there Pokey Joe -
I'll add my two cents worth.
Your question: "how does being critical of the church give us a glimpse of the holy?"
Being critical of the church, of organized religion, brings us closer to it. Struggling with the church makes it possible to be more honest and real with it.
It's like any relationship. You can only have a real fight with someone you love. If you don't care about someone, then you don't yell at them when they're screwing up their life.
And if you don't care about the church or organized religion, then you don't struggle and complain when it falls short. The reason to reach for something better is because of the promise of what organized religion could do if...
BL, i couldn't have said it better myself.
I'm going to go out on a limb, not for the sake of being PC (although it may sound patronizing), and say that organized religion has always failed to bring God's reign on earth. As i'm sure all of you have heard, Religion is our attempt to figure God out, please Him or her or it or whatever, and get out of Him what we want. Organizing it just makes it that much easier to fool larger numbers of people. The problem with Western Christianity (and this is no new problem, by any stretch of the imagination) is that it has become a religion-- period. Becoming organized amplified the problem.
When the Church--all factions of it--return to that "radical", Lutheran reformation that the essence of the Christian faith is that Jesus, God incarnate, reached down to touch us and redeem us by His grace in order to enter into eternal communion with us, then all of our quarreling will be of no need. Of course, some of you are probably saying to yourselves, "Huh? That's what the Church is and has always been about." But i'd be willing to bet that those of us "on the fringes", regardless of the particular manifestations of those fringes, understand that this fundamental Truth has been abandoned in favor of a God that we can formulate, produce, package, and mass-distribute around the world. The Gospel of Jesus has been mixed with the Gospel of Constantine, the Stoics, Kant, and the inventors of democratic republicanism. How can this be holy, when it is contrarily blasphemous?
Reacher Dude! I am coming out of the closet as a would-be blogger... Look out below! And above, for that matter...
Perhaps, we catch "a glimpse of the Holy" when Jesus confronts the Scribes and Pharisees and lovingly refers to them as "whitewashed sepulchres."
Or maybe there is something holy about driving money-changers out of the "house of prayer."
Jesus even responded to Peter once by calling him "Satan" for suggesting that He thwart the Kingdom's plan and purpose.
I have been in three different churches over the past four weeks. One of which made it difficult to focus on God, let alone worship. They spent a good deal of time apologizng for the poor attendance. (And I thought Jesus showed up whenever two or three of us gathered together. Hmmm.) Another one engaged in so much self-promotion after worship, that it seemed to me to disengage the holy. It was almost like breaking away from "regularly scheduled programming" for a "word from our sponsor". The irony is that the sponsor seemed to be the church's ministry rather than God. Does that seem backwards to you?
The third church (the one I have attended twice) was somewhat rehreshing. I got the distinct impression that those folks wanted to experience God in worship and whether or not they did, I did. It has been a while since I experienced corporate worship in such a meaningful way.
While you reread McLaren, read some Campolo too. He challenged me a while back to view the kingdom of God as a party! Party on!
DrF
Welcome to the infamous Dr. F!!
You and others are getting to it: When we seek to see God in the midst of the crap, that seems to draw us closer to the holy. That effort. That passion for what is truth, not marketed fiction or institutionalized inertia. When we look like that, we take some risks, we break from the norm, and in my opinion draw closer to God.
Now, of course, if we are just looking to bitch...they ain't nothin' holy about that. And that's what we have to guard against. Critical eyes can become hopelessly negative eyes.
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